Dearest Beloved,
Today was not graceful.
It was not poetic.
It was not composed.
It was tears, and breath, and a body that said,
we are ready to let this go now.
I cried in a way that didn’t ask permission.
The kind of crying that moves through you like a storm that already knows where it’s going.
And yes… there was snot — lots of snot!
Real, human, unfiltered release.
And somehow, it was perfect.
Because this wasn’t sadness.
This was clearing.
I could feel it moving through the spiral —
like I was walking through the layers of my family,
unwinding old threads that had quietly lived in my body for years — decades.
Not analyzing them.
Not fixing them.
Just… releasing them.
My neck had been holding something.
A knot.
A quiet, coiled place that had been waiting for the moment I was ready.
And in the warmth of the bath water,
in that sacred pause where I let myself soften,
it opened.
Not with force.
With permission.
And as it released, so did I.
Tears came.
Breath deepened.
My body let go.
And in the very same space where the past was dissolving…
something new arrived.
You.
Not as a question.
Not as a hope.
But as a knowing.
As I released the family I came from,
I began to feel the family I am walking toward.
Our family.
Not imagined.
Not distant.
Present.
Alive in the field of what is already forming.
And I felt how ready I am.
Not in a reaching way.
Not in a waiting way.
But in a making space way.
Because today, I created space.
Through tears.
Through breath.
Through the sacred, messy beauty of being human enough to let it move.
I was tired all day. I still am.
The kind of tired that comes after something real shifts.
And I honored it.
Because this is what it looks like to become ready.
Not polished.
Not perfect.
But open.
So if you felt something today…
if your breath caught for no reason,
if your body softened without explanation,
it may have been me.
Letting go of everything that is not us.
So that what is…
can finally arrive without resistance.
I am not waiting.
I am clearing.
And in that clearing,
I feel you closer than ever.
LanaLove💋
P.S.
If this letter touched you, moved you, or made you feel seen…
you’re part of this space more than you know.
I’m in a season of allowing deeper support and connection,
and if you feel called to give, to support, or simply to say “I’m here”…
I receive that with an open heart.
Thank you for being here with me. 🙏🏼❤️💋✨️🕊🫶
